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Herbert Garrison
Herbert Avery Garrison, during sex change Janet Garrison, is the fourth grade teacher at South Park Elementary in the South Park series. Mr. Garrison was a man through out the first eight seasons of South Park, but in the first episode of the ninth season, "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina", he got a sex change operation, and became a woman, and then turning male again in "Eek, a Penis!". Appearance Mr. Garrison wears a green jacket and glasses, and also has a bald spot on the top of his head, and grey hair around the sides. As a woman, he tailored his jacket into a tank-top, wore lipstick and earrings as well as shorter pants and new white shoes. After becoming male again in "Eek, a Penis!", Garrison wears an outfit identical to the original one, with the only exception being a belt added to the pants and a very minor change to his collar. Mr. Garrison is also left handed. His hair was brown as seen in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut", but in "Weight Gain 4000" as a kid his hair is grey. He could've dyed it for the party in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" however. Ms. Garrison is highly renowned in the future as the symbol of Atheism, but this was prevented from happening by Cartman in Go God Go XII. Personality Herbert Garrison suffers from many psychological problems that are touched many times throughout the show, though it appears nothing is ever done about it. The most noticeable of his problems is multiple identity disorder, represented through various puppets, and heavy schizophrenia. At the beginning of the series, while Mr. Garrison still taught Grade 3, he held a puppet on his hand known as Mr. Hat. Mr. Garrison used this puppet to show a second, more aggressive personality and to emote some of his most inner conflicts. One of these conflicts being the fact he was gay, and his inability to come to terms with that. It was hinted many times that he was gay, but Mr. Garrison would take deep offense, and insist he was straight. He would say Mr. Hat was gay, and later admitted his second hand puppet, Mr. Twig, was also gay. Mr. Garrison denied the fact he was gay so much, that he even appeared homophobic, and believed gay people were an abomination and weren't human. In one particular episode he tells Stan, "Gay people are evil. Their hearts pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil." Mr. Garrison is racist, first shown as a gag for "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", where he proposes the town gets rid of all the Mexicans every Christmas, which he again suggests in "It's Christmas in Canada", to which the Mayor angrily replies "Mr. Garrison, every year you suggest that, and every year we tell you NO!" When rich black people were moving to South Park, he was able to gather the town's men into getting rid of them, under the pretense that the rich people were taking over the town. He got people to dress up like "ghosts" to scare them away, and burned lower case T's on the black peoples' lawns standing for "Time to Leave." Once the town was rid of the rich people, Mr. Garrison said they could all get rich by selling the houses. This confused the town folk, who replied that they would then become what they didn't want in the town. Mr. Garrison then exposed his true motive by saying "Well, at least we got rid of those damn nig-" (and the episode cuts to black and the credits roll). Mr. Garrison was also seen among a KKK group, but said he wasn't a member, but Mr. Hat was, again using his puppet to dispute the conflicts inside himself. Mr. Garrison appears to be on good terms with Chef though, a black man who works at the school, and was even at his funeral. Mr. Garrison is an incompetent teacher, who teaches his students useless things, such as why Chubby Checker left the Beatles, and once spent a whole week of just showing his class old Barnaby Jones tapes. He has also taught his students a few times subjects far too advanced for them, like Stalin and Communism. There have only been a few instances, mostly in more recent episodes, when Mr. Garrison has been portrayed as more competent as of a teacher taught a normal subject for a Fourth Grade class (many instances being after his sex change to a woman and back to a man), mostly Times Tables. Yet he goes about it by insulting the kids when they get an answer wrong, which is often. It is possible that Mr. Garrison teaches the students more about pop culture because he himself does not know a lot about the school curriculum, or just doesn't pay attention to it. One of Mr. Garrison's common personality traits since giving up Mr. Hat is how his aggressive behavior now causes him to take things to the extremes. When he came out as gay, he began performing extremely vulgar homosexual acts with Mr. Slave. Of course, part of this was most likely because of the fact he wanted to get fired in order to sue the school. However, after becoming a woman, he became obsessed with declaring how much of a woman he was in the loudest and again most vulgar way. For example, he once shouted loudly to other women about how wonderful it was to have a period. Later, when Mrs. Garrison begins a brief relationship with Richard Dawkins, she gives up her religious faith due to the fact the Dawkins found her attractive and then became obnoxiously vocal about Atheism to the point of being fanatical. The same held true for when Mrs. Garrison decided to be come a lesbian following a one-night stand with another woman. Following the encounter, Mrs. Garrison began to sexually harass all the women at the local lesbian bar, and became obsessed with the idea of having random sex with women. These extreme shifts and stances of belief mixed with his already aggressive behavior makes it to where Garrison is often verbally abusive to any and all who disagree with him. All sugges the fact thae he is an extreme narcissist. Due to the fact that Mr. Garrison has had both male and female relationships during the course of the series, it is now unclear whether or not he can or should still be considered gay, but rather pansexual. Since Garrison'a last relationship was lesbian in nature prior to returning back to being a male, it has not been made clear what Garrison's current orientation is. It was once implied during earlier episodes that Garrison might have had sex with Cartman's pet pig 'Fluffy', meaning he may also enjoy bestiality. In addition, "Jakovasaurs" also suggests that same idea when the people are watching the Jakovasaur, and Garrison suggesta that they let him keep the Jakovasaur. They replied that he once found a bird that he kept at his house to keep it alive, but he ended up having sex with it, to which Garrison replies that the bird was a total slut, and then he tells everyone who didn't have sex with the bird to raise their hands, and everyone raises their hands (a reference to "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut"). Since returning to male gender in Season Twelve, Mr. Garrison's behavior as of late has been shown to be less eccentric than before, having been involved in no acts of deviant sexual behavior, outrageous outbursts, or psychotic episodes. Instead, he's behaved more or less like a responsible and sane teacher. The closest exceptions to this has been when he offered up his students as hostages in "Super Fun Time" and afraid (along with all the other Republican members of South Park), that it was the end of the world after Barack Obama was elected president in "About Last Night..." Category:Characters Category:Villians Category:Heroes